ABOUT DHANYA:
Dhanya Ravi is a disability professional, volunteer, and freelancer whose journey reflects resilience, service, and leadership. Currently working with EnAble India, she assists individuals with disabilities in identifying their skills and connecting with meaningful opportunities. Her professional role goes hand in hand with her strong volunteer spirit. She mentors families and contributes as an audio reader for people with vision impairment.
Dhanya has been advocating for more than a decade. She has addressed thousands worldwide through platforms like TEDx, Josh Talks, and corporate inclusion programs. Her freelance engagements include workshops, keynote sessions, and panel moderations that create awareness about inclusivity, mental health, and empowerment. She also collaborates with NGOs to build equitable opportunities for marginalized communities.
Dhanya balances her career, community service, and independent living. She continues to embody courage and compassion. She believes that true strength lies in rising again and again.
Have you ever noticed how people often say, “it takes a village to raise a child?”
I feel this is even truer when a child is born with a disability. Yet, in most conversations about disability, we speak about parents, schools, or doctors. We rarely discuss the role of grandparents, aunts, uncles, or cousins. Their contribution, or absence, can shape the entire journey of a child’s life. I’ve witnessed this in my own life. I’ve also observed it in the lives of many families I’ve met through my work in the disability sector.
When a child is born with a disability, the immediate focus usually falls on the parents. They become the frontline—navigating therapies, education, and social acceptance. But behind them stands (or sometimes does not stand) the extended family. A supportive grandmother believes in the child’s abilities. A cousin treats them like any other playmate. An uncle stands up against rude remarks. All of these small acts create a powerful foundation of belonging.
On the other hand, if extended family members only express pity, they cause harm. If they distance themselves or blame parents for the child’s condition, it leaves deep scars. Parents, especially the mother, face practical challenges. They also carry emotional burdens that can be lightened with a little empathy. This neglected dimension is so powerful, yet so rarely discussed.
I remember meeting a mother in Kerala. She told me that her brother was the first one to take her son with autism to a family wedding. She said, “If he hadn’t insisted, I would have never dared. People stared, yes, but my brother stood next to us, smiling, introducing my son proudly. That day, I felt less alone.” I’ve carried his words in my heart.
Sometimes extended family doesn’t realize that their simple presence gives courage to parents.
In my own journey, I’ve seen how cousins can make a difference. Then there are moments where relatives act as role models. I know of Shyam, a boy with Muscular Dystrophy, whose uncle raised funds for an electric wheelchair. But the most moving part was his cousin, who took the initiative to speak to the school about accessibility. Because of her efforts, ramps were built. Doors were also widened, not just for Shyam, but for every student who came after him. That is the ripple effect of an extended family that chooses to act.
I also consider the practical side. Parents may juggle hospital visits, therapies, and daily household demands. When relatives support by picking up siblings, it lightens the load. Contributing to assistive devices also helps. Giving the mother a break further lightens the load. For low-income families, relatives’ financial support can mean the difference between opportunity and missed chances for the child.
For children, extended family can make or break their sense of belonging. Stigma plays a huge role. Some parents have shared how relatives criticized them or withdrew altogether. The pain of being judged by your own family is hard to describe. It leaves parents feeling isolated, and children sensing they are not fully accepted. That is why I believe we must bring extended families into conversations about disability, not leave them out.
HOW CAN WE ADDRESS THESE BARRIERS THAT PARENTS FACE?
- Families can sit together and talk honestly about the child’s needs.
- Extended family members can make time to choose supportive sport coaches who can introduce the children to disability sport opportunities.
- Community groups and NGOs can invite not just parents, but grandparents and cousins to awareness sessions. And above all, families can choose to celebrate strengths rather than focus on limitations.
Parenting a child with a disability is not a journey meant to be carried by two shoulders alone. Every smile from a cousin brightens a day. A helping hand from a grandparent eases many tasks. Words of encouragement from an uncle or aunt provide strength. These are the invisible supports that can transform daily struggles into shared responsibility. When extended families stand together, children do not just grow in the care of parents; they grow in the love of an entire network that sees them with dignity and pride.
RELATED READINGS
- Experiences of family carers in providing care to children with intellectual disabilities in India: A qualitative evidence synthesis: Family carers hold diverse views, while almost all consider providing care complex and challenging, with few positive experiences.
- The Role of Extended Family Members in the Lives of Autistic Individuals and Their Parents: A Systematic Review and Meta‑Synthesis